Looking Harder Isn't Always Best

Focus patiently in 2024

Have you ever found something once you stopped looking? In the past week, two things I searched hard for only were found once I stopped looking. Might the same apply to our own career adventures?

You’ve been there before. You’ve misplaced something. It was just in your hands. You can feel its presence in your bones, calling. Where in the heck did I put it, you say incredulously. Seconds become minutes. Minutes become hours. Yet, you search on knowing the harder you look the more likely it is you will find it. But will you?

Searching for our Kid’s Enjoyment

Over the past week, my wife and I found ourselves diligently looking for two “critical” items: dead batteries and a toy race car. We’d just delighted our daughters with a Cars The Movie powered race set for Christmas. They couldn’t wait to power it up and play.

Two challenges emerged. First, there was only one car included in the race set. We’ve got two girls. As you may imagine, having a car for each of them to race is ideal. We had a spare car just for this occasion, but we couldn’t find it.

Second, we misplaced dead batteries. In powering up the track, we found dead batteries that needed to be recycled. As you may also know, batteries and kids don’t mix. Thus, why not put them in a safe place immediately. The problem: We’d misplaced the dead batteries! They were nowhere to be found.

We looked EVERYWHERE. Our house isn’t that big. We’d covered nearly every inch of it in short order. We made another loop. Then, another. Soon, finding the toy car and the batteries felt futile.

Sometimes You Have to Stop Looking

Amidst minor frustration, we concluded searching further at that time was unproductive. I philosophically stated in Gandalf like fashion,

“Oftentimes we find what we seek once we’ve stop looking.”

Paul Fisher

My wife chuckled. I was proud of myself for being sooooo insightful. Nonetheless, we reluctantly stopped looking. We made do playing with one car. We hoped our youngest didn’t find the dead batteries before us.

A miracle occurred the next day. We found both the car and the batteries where we least expected. The car magically emerged on our bookshelf. We looked on the bookshelf the previous day. Who knows why we didn’t see it then, but now the bright yellow racer was plain as day. I looked at my fam and said, “I found the other race car! It was on the shelf, right where we were looking yesterday.” There was much rejoicing!

We found the batteries too, outside of all places. My youngest daughter was playing in our mulch bed while we prepared for a trip to Walmart. Both dead Duracells were sitting next to her feet in the mulch. The batteries likely slipped from my wife’s pocket when she was taking trash out the day prior. Seriously?!

So, How Does this Apply to Career Adventures?

We’re entering the seasonal search for new beginnings. We’ve taken a holiday break and are ready to hit the literal and figurative treadmill at full speed in January. We’re determined to find a new job or to inject meaning into our current job, NOW. By golly, we’ll force things to happen. Is that the best approach? Might patience with focus yield the most fruit?

“I have just three things to teach: simplicity, patience, compassion. These three are your greatest treasures.”

Lao Tzu

I love this Lao Tzo quote, especially when applied to our careers. It’s so easy to overcomplicate things, to try to force opportunities to happen, and to overtax oneself when we do not see progress. Please don’t misinterpret. We must take good measure to define which career adventures matter most to us. We must be disciplined in the pursuit of our goals. We must hold ourselves to a high standard. Nonetheless, don’t over do it.

How I’m Approaching It

I’ve applied the approach Lao Tzu mentions in the following ways. I’m not perfect. Yet, I’ve found that setting simple goals, being patient in achieving them, and practicing gentleness to oneself if you don’t achieve them has yielded the best results.

Simplicity

Each year, I try to set simple goals. I accomplish more with simple goals, and I have room for other adventures that arise during the year. Simple doesn’t necessarily mean easy. It means we’re more singularly focused on achieving one or two things. Two years ago, I outlined three focus areas with three objectives by focus area. I was pretty proud of my 9 goal matrix! Disaster! I’m pretty sure I didn’t accomplish any of the goals that year. By contrast, the past two years I’ve set two goals in January, one to push the mind and one to push the body. I’ve managed to accomplish them and more in those years.

For example, last year my goals were simple. For the body: Run 500 miles by the end of the year. For the mind: Put four children’s stories for my daughter on paper. Not only did I accomplish both of them, but also added more goals during the year.

I was able to amend my goal of the body midway through the year. I was well ahead of pace, so I doubled down. I increased my goal to 600 miles running and decided that I’d ride a Century (i.e. - 100 mile ride) on my bike. I planned to ride a Century a year earlier but failed in meeting that goal.

Regarding my goal of the mind, I focused on getting one story on paper per quarter. I only had one on paper through August, well behind pace. In September, I dedicated an hour each morning of the week for four weeks to complete the goal.

Looking to 2024, I’ve only outlined my goal of the mind thus far. I plan to create 52 posts for this Substack. This feels attainable yet stretching at the same time. It’s only 1 post / week. But, it means I can’t get too far behind early in the year.

Patience

By nature, I’m a relatively impatient person. I’m part Activator in Strength’s Finder. I am energized at the outset; I love getting things going. I have hundreds of ideas, but completing them all normally doesn’t happen. This is fine. I’ve come to accept that I will not complete every idea in my mind. Rather, I try to focus on identifying a high priority objective. Then, I put my energy into having the patience to bring it home.

For example, four years ago, I wrote a book: Couch Yoga - Netflix and Namaste. (It’s a great gag or white elephant gift.) Completing it tested my patience. The book started out as an Apple Gift Book for family. They thought it was hilarious. So, I decided to give publishing it a go. I hired an illustrator, amended the copy, and set up the business to sell it. Guess what! I never need to work again! Just kidding. Its been successful, but not “quit the day job” successful. I’ve sold 400 or so copies, more than the typical self published book. I’m most proud of the fact that I had an idea outside of my normal day job and saw it to conclusion.

This year, I am going to apply the same mentality to this substack. I have a cool little content calendar to equip myself with the discipline I need to be patient. I get jazzed about a post idea and completing an interview. I don’t love completing the final edits on the posts. I’d rather generate ideas and do the first cut. Nonetheless, good writing is re-writing. Greatness comes from the completion of the task, the final edit. Don’t get me wrong, I am very focused in my work life. I’ve managed the P&L for large brands, which requires extreme focus, patience, and commitment. For personal goals or new career adventures focus can be fleeting.

Compassion

Last, be kind to yourself. We are human. We live hectic lives. You will miss an objective. I once signed up to take the second level sommelier exam and didn’t take it. Fail. My day job got in the way. I was a bit ticked at myself. Nonetheless, I got over it.

When you miss an objective or aren’t on track to meet one, give yourself some grace. Take a beat. Reassess if the objective was really that important to you. If it is, get back to it and get it done. You might have to take other less important goals off of your plate.

Go Get ‘Em!

2024 is here. Take January to search for the right, high priority goals you have. Don’t look too hard. Let them find you. Be focused on the area of interest, but let the final goal present itself when you aren’t looking so hard. This may come in a dream, in the shower, or in some mind-numbing 8 am meeting. Then, be SMART and get em done.

I’m committed to posting one time per week this year. Doing so will help me assess a future career adventure as a writer and will help me in my current day job as a Sales & Marketing Leader. What are you committed to this year? Whatever it is, I’m sure it’ll be great. Focus, keep it simple, be patient, and, most importantly, be compassionate to yourself.